News: Change in Pronunciation - Please Comply!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
After nearly four years as an articulatory outlaw, GUD has finally decided to conform to the ruling of the International Phonetic Association and change its pronunciation to that required by its appearance, as understood by readers of the International Phonetic Alphabet: /gud/*. The IPA has escalated its attempts to force us to make our pronunciation less misleading from friendly memos through harassing phone calls and litigation to a full-on international campaign of persecution. While we regret the loss of our previous pronunciation (/gÊŠd/**) and its connotations of quality, desirability, and virtue, we understand the IPA's position that setting such a precedent for pronunciation of the letter 'u' might lead to a rash of unlawful, undesirable, and disharmonious manipulations of the vowel space, especially among youth already under the dangerous influence of heavy metal music. Also, we were tired of reading letters that began "/diÉ¹ É›dÉªtÉ¹z/".
* Those of you who learned pronunciation from subversive dictionaries such as Webster's will perhaps understand more easily if we say we are changing the pronunciation to 'gÅ«d'.
** Per Webster's, 'gÅÅd'.
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